Parent teacher conference

"So this is how parent teacher conference goes: Saysay and I go in the classroom and sit down. Teachers begin explaining test scores and behavior. I start to smell something. I look suspiciously at Saysay and hope no one else notices. Teachers notice. One suggests politely that I could take care of that, if I'd like, they'd happily wait for me. I remember we are potty training, she is not wearing a diaper, and in my rush to get to the school on time I've forgotten a change of clothes. In my head I assume that the conference will be over briefly, and I can rush her out to the car, pad the carseat with a towel, and beeline home. The teachers continue on as the smell becomes more and more distracting. I begin apologizing in between sentences. Then I notice there is poop smeared all over two different chairs and my child. I frantically grab the clorox wipes from the desk and begin scrubbing chairs while nonchalantly continuing conversation (still apologizing between sentences.) The very kind and understanding teachers make a quick exit, escorting the next conference parents into a different classroom, and I'm left with a crap-covered toddler. I strip her in the bathroom, desperately scrub her down, and clog a toilet or two with nasty paper towels. I snag an extra trash bag from the can for her pants, wrap her semi-clean t-shirt around her bootie, and scurry out the door as fast as I possibly can. Right smack dab into the waiting car-pool line. :D Another typical day at the Effiongs."